Mother’s Day Through a Child’s Eyes: A Different Kind of Grief

Mother’s Day is a beautiful celebration for many — but for children in foster care, it can be a day filled with complex emotions. For children separated from their mothers, Mother’s Day can be a powerful reminder of loss, uncertainty, and longing, even when they are safe and cared for in a new home.

Children in foster care often experience a swirl of feelings on days like this: sadness, anger, guilt, hope, and confusion. They might not have the words to express what they’re feeling, so instead, their emotions show up through their behaviors. You may see a child become unusually withdrawn, act out, be more emotional, or even push away caregivers offering support. These behaviors aren’t about the home they’re in now — they’re about the deep grief and loyalty they feel toward their biological family, even when it’s complicated.

Some children may idealize their birth mothers on this day, remembering only the good times. Others may feel anger over the hurt they’ve experienced but still deeply miss their connection. Some may struggle with guilt for bonding with a new caregiver. These feelings are real, valid, and overwhelming for a young heart.

As caregivers, foster parents, teachers, and community members, it’s important to offer patience, space, and understanding. A child might not be able to say, "I'm hurting because I miss my mom," but their actions often speak louder than words. Gentle conversations, opportunities to express their feelings through art or play, and simply validating that it’s okay to have mixed emotions can make a world of difference.

Mother’s Day reminds us that healing from loss takes time, and that love — in all its forms — is a gift we can continue to offer, even in the hardest moments.

To every child navigating Mother’s Day in foster care: You are seen, you are loved, and your feelings matter.